Now that I'm working, I barely have enough time for myself; let alone my boyfriend. I am living most girls' dream – I am going to be an air stewardess. 3.5 months of intensive training is not easy, I'm exhausted to my bones each time the evening sun goes down. Nonetheless, I've got really lovely batchmates (thankfully) which makes training a lot better and more bearable.

I can't believe I'm already a working adult.... It's just so crazy to think about how fast time is flying and how crazy things are going to become when Shao goes into army. I once told him: "We're both Singapore's icons serving different purposes but fighting to stay together" I do hope things stay the way they are. I can't believe it's more than a year since I was all gooey and melty over Shao. I was so disgustingly corny ha hah haa. Anyhoo, it's almost time to hit the sack so, toodz!

So basically this is what happens when a person graduate? They become the most unproductive people in the world (wrong) I woke up at 7am, brought sparky for a long morning walk. Came home to make some breakfast before I continue learning Korean. Learning languages by your own is definitely not a good idea but I'm way lazy to get a teacher/go for classes. And therefore laziness forces me to embrace self learn.

I do not know what to do. Should I apply for university or should I work.......????

I never expected myself to be one of those insecure girls I've always seen or known. Being together with Shao really made me realise how vulnerable and affected I can be despite constantly masking confidence. It's getting better now but sometimes it's really sudden and I'm just falling into a bottomless pit and drowning in self-pity. I hate it, I hate self-pity.

But Shao is lovely and patient enough to love me, still. He knows every little detail about me and still, he loves me. Always making the conscientious effort to make me the happiest I can be, he does silly things and sometimes they are really cute and quirky. I love how he addresses my insecurities: He doesn't put them down, neither does he shrug them away but rather he tells me my strengths and gives me loads of cuddly hugs and forehead kisses. Now it keeps me thinking: What have I ever done to deserve someone so lovely? <probably nothing>

Apart from having the best boyfriend in the world, school's been quite fine. Late nights paid off as 2 of my group projects were chosen by tutors, I guess we're strutting towards an A? It's my last semester, and I'm at a crossroad. Where do I go from here? Should I work for 2 years for some experience and then study or the other way round?

So many things to look forward to, half anticipating half terrified. I never knew I had this side of me, but for the first time I'm really afraid of change. I don't ever want to lose Shao.

Typically any girl would feel insecure about anything, but I'm truly fortunate to have Shao dealing with mine. Foremost, I'm sensitive, I over-think, overreact and am demanding. If you are reading this and your girlfriend isn't any of these, she's an extreme keeper but beware; you wouldn't know when she'll let it out on you.

I am, basically the luckiest girl on earth. Whenever I get really cranky, Shao would cradle me in his arms and just talk to me, sing to me, stroke my head, pat me, tuck hair behind my ears/removing hair from my face or just gazing at me. I love how he does that and of course when he plants kisses on my left and right cheeks, forehead and nose. And when he tells me that bad times will go away and that brighter days are coming.

It's been quite some time since we've been together, but one thing's for sure - I'm more sure than ever that I'm still in love with Shao. And I honestly do not ever, ever want to think of the day I'd have to live without him because it hurts so much. How can someone like me, having been extremely independent, be so dependent on someone else? I am completely clueless but this is a puzzle I'd rather leave unsolved.

I just really need to realise how blessed I'm to have someone so willing, and would do anything to spend the rest of his life with me. I'm honoured to be your girlfriend, Shao. And I love you so much.

Any guy who have gone out with me would know I'm a helpless romantic at heart. I remember there was this one particular guy who told me "stop expecting your relationships to be like those in movies. You'll just be disappointed because you don't live in movies, you live in reality" something along that line. And y'knw what? You're wrong. I'm in a perfect relationship in most possible ways.

We're two lovebirds, hitting the malls, doing silly stuff, saying the cutest things to each other, exactly like a movie. I have no idea what I've done to deserve all of these. But I know one thing's for sure that chubs and I will fight for each other. Whenever I'm feeling sad and annoyed and I just want to be alone, chubs will sit by me and tell me the very reason he fell in love with me, and all the things he love about me. He reminds me of the things I've told him and it makes me feel better.

Similarly when he feels lousy, I approach it in a different way. I hug him to make him feel better, I give him surprises, I cook for him and write him messages. Both of us, are in love. And I guess it is exactly what movies aim for, to allow people to see how they will be like when they're in love. And I see it, but more, I feel it.

Initially I was really afraid of my boyfriend going into NS. What if I cheated on him, or what if I got bored because he didn't have enough time for me? What if's just filled my mind. But as of recent, I realised that I don't have to worry because I love him. I love him enough to be with him through this journey of 5 days of hell and 2 days of heaven. I'll be with him at all his ceremonies and achievements, I'll proudly hold him in photos to let everybody know that he's my boyfriend; that my boyfriend has survived army.

Looking beyond army would be further studies. Chubs is currently considering to go overseas to study. I don't deny that it'll be even tougher than army. But whoever survived both army and long distance relationship has survived the toughest obstacle to come. I'm all supportive and I'm not afraid that he'll find anyone better because I know, in his heart that he'll always love me. Nobody understood what we've been through, the emotional barriers both of us had in the beginning and the time invested to break these barriers down and cultivate trust within ourselves.

We had this stage - growing, where both of us made each other better persons. For the simplest yet uncomprehensible reason: Unconditional Love.

Partying last night for my first time was fine. I don't deny that the attention received was indeed flattering but unfortunately the cons outweigh the pros. During the party I was really worried for all my girlfriends and the initial stage I was just running all over to make sure all of them were fine (and not taken advantage of) and the latter part I met Davin and had a good catch up with him at the table.

My poor boyfriend insisted that he should pick me up to make sure I was safe and sound so after a long and tiring day at work, he drove to wave house to come pick me up. I'm such a lucky girl I never once doubted. Despite waiting for 45 mins and getting lost in the sentosa road ways all he did was to shower me with care and concern when I stepped into his car.

He took care of me when I vomited, tucked me to bed and made sure I was okay. I'm so blessed to have him in my life. What would I ever do without you, I really don't know.

Nonetheless, so much love for everyone who made it a memorable first time for me :-)

It's so hard to keep up and I feel like giving up. But I know that if I do, one day I'll look back and regret. And if I hang on, one day I'll look back and tell myself "It's the best decision ever - holding on" I've never felt so affected at the littlest things ever. Is this what love feels like? Is this how jealousy actually feels like? I feel that I love (too much), I care (too much) and that's why I hurt (too much).

 You remind me of the very reason why anyone should even be loved in the first place.

The love of my life
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

I love how sweet you've been to me since who knows when :-) Although most of them are vaguely in my memory, I want to keep them close to my heart forever.

• The time you bought cupcakes for me amidst waitressing
• When you drove me for driving despite having a paper to study for the next day
• Each time you make me smile just at your blur, cute acts
• And of course, the night you surprised me and made me your girlfriend

Hi!!!!!!!!!!! Ok so this post is nothing much actually it's just to show off the things I got for love that's that hehe.
 I got him this watch (for his birthday) because I figured that a guy needs a brown leather-strapped watch. And it honestly just reminds me of him each time I look at it soooo I'm glad he likes it???
And then I worked and got money of my own, I decided to buy him a pair of shoes. My boyfriend's got loads of shoes but this looks really nice. Initially I was contemplating between this colour or like sand brown but I figured that this khaki looks really good on him (plus it'll match his outfits better) AND I'M GLAD HE LIKES IT AGAIN.

My boyfriend do get me stuff as well and I feel indebted to him for the amount of love, money, time and effort he puts in. Thank you love!!!!!!!

I've found the guy I want to spend my life with.
Although there are still certain obstacles we would face in the mere future (or currently even), I know that we'll be able to overcome them in time. Thank you for being wonderful. You're perfect for me, and I love you.

It's been long since I touched this blog. Hi. Thing's been good for me, everything are pretty much alright except I don't really get to talk to chubs which kinda suck (still) but thank God for off days he's gonna be spending loads'a time with me over the next few days before he goes back to work, again.

Yesterday was the first time ever any of my guy friends joined my family for a full-day affair. It was pressurizing, wasn't it chubs.... We went grocerying together, too. Ate dinner together, everything felt so perfect when I have all the important people together with me. Oh yes, we even went for my friend's birthday party together (thank you for being so accommodative chubby). Things are all good in tha'hood.

Why do I feel like such a selfish peanut...................

This will be up as soon as possible. I want to thank his mom for giving birth to the most amazing young man.

We had shepard's pie at my place (mom's impromptu invite) and headed to Bedok85 for some delicious unhealthy food. We went to the beach after that to just chill and enjoy the sea breeze. I love us.

It's really hard on my part........

Mmmmmmmm okay so here's a blog post. Ever since SIP start I developed a love-hate relationship with binge eating. It's very bad for health but office jobs really aren't easy, really. Am trying to tune myself on track, been feeling too exhausted for major movements. Truth is, chubs and I don't really talk during SIP because of the difference in our schedule (His's 2.30pm - 12.30am while mine's 8.30am - 6pm) And so the only time we get to talk is when he wakes up and during his dinner time. We can't really meet up as well because my off days are weekends and he definitely can't take weekends off.
Nonetheless, life's alright. Got to draw closer with a few peers because of internship and am glad that my superiors are pretty nice people. That's that & have a nice daynight!

Just a few years back (when shit happened) I kept resenting God. Constantly asked myself why do I keep ending myself in the same situations leading me to feel so unsure and skeptical of everything. I felt like a messed up creature, one that needed help out of exasperation. I hated everything that stepped on my tail, and anything that came in my way. I became so self-centred I started to think of me and me only so that nobody could enter the doors of my heart and unexpectedly leave. It was my only form of protection. I could say I was pretty much a lost soul, I don't feel I belonged anywhere, or was good enough for anybody, I didn't feel smart, pretty or slim. I just didn't want to do anything with my life anymore.

Just words, no pictures.

Today I found another girl who hurts herself. In a world of unmet expectations it hurts to actually know that people hurt themselves to temporarily numb the pain they feel inside. We're all humans, aren't we? We do things rashly, we're quick to anger and sometimes say things we wished we never did. But when it comes to having a choice to hurt individuals, people still do it.

First, there's love. It's inevitable for people not to get hurt in a relationship (unless you're the lucky one in  a million who met the guy you'd be spending your life with). But what's controllable is the means of ending it and ways to handle the other party, isn't it. Admittedly I'm not a professional love guru but why do beings love making things so utterly screwed up when it's completely uncalled for. I don't understand.

And then there're bad friends. Those who'd talk about you behind you. I believe that as much as people abhor getting honestly opinionated in the face, what's it that gets on people's nerves more would be getting talked behind their backs. What's worse is when it travels around and the person gets to know about it...... I don't know man. I mean I can't understand why the one thing that's so difficult for humans to be is truthful.

Lastly of course, there's family. And being sandwiched in such circumstances doesn't permit you to have a say in anything because you were born and are bounded by an invisible cord to these people. But what you can do is to learn from it, not hurt yourself. Find good (true and proper) friends whom you can confide in, and stick to these few - they'll last you a lifetime.

Up till now I am fully unable to comprehend how can a person have a concept of substituting emotional sorrows with physical pain. Never did, never will. But if you're struggling and reading this, I want you to know that you're strong and abled enough to get by. You've lived till now, it wasn't easy and it's never gonna be. Continue loving, continue growing. You'll soon see the light at the end of this dark and lonesome tunnel you're passing by. And don't ever, for a second thinks that nobody cares. Because people do, you just haven't seen it yourself yet.

Really missing Korea with all these people!!!!!! :-(

 Lovely day indeed 

I know I'm late but, I just caught "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" it is indeed a pretty deep movie - it touches on emotions not literally shown in the context of the movie. Logan Lerman pulls of as a shy boy pretty well. And shy boy reminds me my chubs. What really struck me was this phrase
And I realised that people shouldn't settle for anything less than they deserve. This movie triggered a lot of thoughts at the back of my head. That's probably about it.

"I wanna tell you something"
"Is it bad or good"
"You can't just ask me you're ruining the atmosphere"
"Okay tell me"
"I just wanna say I miss you and love you and that you're the last thing on my mind before I go to bed, goodnight"

Thank you for another wonderfully magical day. I love how we oft go to the beach to take a good relaxing night walk there or just smell the sea breeze. I love how you always assure me in a way it doesn't seem to much, neither too little. There're so many things I love about you, and you me. Thank you for being there all the time. X

I just wanna say that chubs and I are such suckers for examinations so please let it be over and done with and we can spend our good 2.5 weeks of holidays together before the dreary SIP starts. Last darn paper tomorrow, I need to up my game.

Hi, with all honesty I hope my readers are people who cares. It doesn't necessarily have to be for me, but at least enough to respect certain individuals about certain issues. I've realised a surge in my views since, idk a month back? I'm not too sure if it's a good or bad thing. But one thing's for sure, everything's getting less private so this also means that I'm going to post less about how I feel (preempt).

Everything's going on really well, and I'm glad. And yup that's about it. It's the last lap for us to get our nerds on and mug through the week. All the best to each and every of you reading this.

Today, my naughty little sister hijacked my phone and typed "Luv u bay" to chubs. Chubs says that I don't use "luv", but I use "love" instead so he knows it isn't me. So at night I was tumblring and here goes our conversation (roughly):

Chubs: I just saw your tumblr and I like it
Bubs: U luv it don't u
Chubs: Who's this
Bubs: I M JULIA OMG I told u I will use "luv" too
Chubs: Really?
Bubs: Yes I do just sometimes not all the time
Chubs: What's our open sesame code
Bubs: Whats open sesame since when did we have an open sesame code
Chubs: Ok u r bubs testing u

First time being so cheeky but. so. darn. cute. hahaaaa ok goodnight.

An extremely short post but the title says it all. You are special and so dear to me. You are so mine.

Meow today was a magical day. Cute boy chubs did a sparkler surprise for me and it's so darn cute I get so flustered even by thinking about it. We went to the airport to watch some (supposed) aeroplanes but watching him seemed to be more than enough for me. He gave me a present, something I really needed a long time ago - A wallet. This wallet I'll use until he gives me the next one.

I gave him his present, with a long hand-written letter of deep heartfelt words. Things were pretty smooth, we ate at coffee club and spend the rest of the night waiting for the rain to stop. Both of us were pretty dead beat (He had SSM today and I slept at 4am this morning) but we just didn't wanna leave each other.

Today's a really good day. Really, really really good day. I enjoyed myself with you chubs, very much. Thank you for being more than I've ever wished for.

Yet another magical day spent with a magical someone

Sooooo I found this picture in one of my picture folders, I probably saved it in my computer last year. And now that I'm in love, I stare at it and feel that it fits my situation completely. I'm in my favourite kind of relationship with my favourite person. The initial stage for us was just a little ambiguous with a lot of uncertainty but I guess things are pretty much settled now.

It feels good being in love with someone I can completely rely on to not impose any hurt on me in a lifetime.

HAPPY CNY FROM THE CHEEKY SISTERS!!!!!!

"Today is a Sunday, and I love you. I'll love you tomorrow, and the next day, and even the next week. In 4 months, I will love you, just like i loved you yesterday. 40 years from now, I'll run my hands through your grey hair and smile at the thought of how much I love you. I just hope you will be with me through all the time that I will love you."

For once ever, I look forward to weekdays because I don't get to see chubs on every weekends. Or this weekend as a matter of fact because of Chinese New Year. It's getting so hard not seeing my favourite face everyday I'm starting to wonder how Internship would be for us, knowing that our schedules are very different, and we're at different locations... (sad face)
Just my face for my favourite boy. Have a great Chinese New Year's Eve to anyone and everyone reading this!

Dear bloggie,

Today was a good day. Firstly, I wrote a kickass cute letter to chubs and gave it to him while delivering food. Second, it's the second last day of culinary (requires some celebration here) and third; and the best, chub's cute as hell reply letter to my initial letter.

After culinary was spent with chubs. We had dinner and walked home from wherever we were eating at. We went to our usual hangout place and sat there. I never get how chubs make times with him feel so magical, but again, today was a magical day. And y'knw what's my favourite part? Chubs blushing.

It's Chinese New Years in a day's and I'm having mixed feelings about it. I get money and conversations BUT what I don't get is to see chub's face. Not a very good bargain afterall.....

Anyway I was extremely dead beat I came back and fell asleep in the guest room. It's currently 3.36am and I'm right in front of my computer screen typing these words in my head. I checked my phone and chubs sent enough message to make me go "Awwwwwww".

The best thing about chubs and I are the long goodnight messages we give each other without fail every night. Chubs I like you very much.

Not hanging out with chubs for a day feels horrible. When did I become so dependent on someone even, urgh. Admittedly I'm becoming more and more reliant on chubs and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not.