Things instantly got better when I'm talking to certain people. :) Thank you for being such a sunshine. I'd glow at your presence.

I feel lost. I feel insecure. I am a mess. Say hello to my life. With so many things at hand, I really do not know what to do. Thank God for good, true friends. Those whom I'm able to count on when I feel lousy.

People (who were) in my life constantly told me that I never opened up to them quick/quick enough, or with all effort I'd push them away. Thing is, I don't dare to. I'm afraid. People have insecurities, I have lots of them. I always thought that if i held onto my insecurities and opened up later, and the person continue waiting patiently, for me to open up, he/she is worthy of my secrets.

People leave, don't they? And you won't wanna be stupid and tell anybody anything and everything, and when they leave, BAM. You're screwed. I'm not wise enough, I'm always getting betrayals in my life. But I'm learning to be wiser. And wiser isn't about telling people how you feel. It's about you knowing how you feel and being able to keep it within yourself. I'm learning. I'm not perfecting it yet but I'm trying.

To-do-list:
Too much to list.

Time to sleep. Goodnight.

Heading out..... With my laptop...... To do my projects while going visiting...... Life sucks. Hu hu hu.

Nights like this don't change. Times with my childhood friends don't change. Was a great night with Irvin, Merlin, Gershon, Wyz, Louis, Jones, Thaddaeus, Nicholas, Lucas, Keith, Sheryl and Su Lynn was great. I love this bunch. No matter what we do, we'll always have fun.

Talking about great company, I miss Andrew, Abel and Abner as well. Today was good, overall. I'm glad. I bought SGD$250 worth of clothes online from www.asos.com and daddy paid them all. I've got such a great family who understands me well. I feel fortunate.

Anyway, got great plans tomorrow. Visiting mommy's ex Singapore Airlines stewardess colleague in the noon then heading to Auntie Jennifer's place at night with the same gang that came to my place today. So much fun, can't wait really!

So much to do, so little time. Goodnight!

Probably the most annoying sister ever, but I still love her. Happy 14th, darling. You're still far from legal. Please be a good girl. I love you very much.

I feel insecure all the time. Mommy said I was going through the "Adult Cycle". Funny how I feel depressed all the time.

Me: Daddy? Do you feel proud of me?
Daddy: I've always felt proud of you and always will.  

Today was an independent day. Not really though, I spent a little of it with Darryl. Amazed at how we are still able to talk to much after so much happened. I'll keep this friendship safe in my heart. Met my girls, been quite awhile I felt this gloomy....

It takes a lot for me to open up to someone. Well I used to be naive. Pretty much, I guess. But there's always a particular someone who makes you close yourself up. Things change, people change. But time isn't gonna wait for anyone. Looking at this gif gives me peace, for reasons I can't comprehend.

Met Joyce for lunch. Had a short but fruitful Mithio dinz. JeremyDang offered to send me home after knowing about the house incident. On our way to my home, he introduced me good songs. We had quite a good, long chat. Could tell that he was dead beat but yet he still made the effort. I feel appreciative of that.

If you get there before i do,
Don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through,
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down,
Darling, wait and see.
And between now and then,
Until I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, Me. 

Gonna crash, have project meeting later. God bless.

2 days of break, what can I say? It's never enough. Great time with Shermeen last night, she stayed over. Once again, someone came into our house. I really wonder what is it that he's so excited to break into our house for. Puzzled, and confused.

Was lazing in bed today with Shermeen, complaining to her about how reluctant I was to attend an 11am lesson. How absurd but just as I reached out for my phone, my teacher texted me saying that the class is cancelled. Whooping joy!

What makes life better is. :)

Time for more projects! Yummy...

Hi there, it's CNY Day #2! Mommy invited friends over, it's.... almost 2pm. Andrew, Abel and Abner are here. It's like last year yet again, but this time, without Sophia because she's in London, enjoying life there. Aw.....

Anyway, I've invited my favourite girls namely Chloe, Shermeen and Pei Chia. Can't wait for their arrival!!!!  HAVE A GOOD NEW YEAR EVERYONE, lots of love!

Overnight at Tiang's was good. Played Chinaman and kept getting linked to Sebastian. Proceeded with Red and Black and h2h with a few people. Spent quality time with Cheryl bby (FINALLY)! Had a great night, with great company. Went home at 7am, felt horrible because I woke up at 1pm and spent my day like a walking dead.

Nonetheless, I survived!!!!!! And am gonna crash soon, so goodnight!

Just want to emphasise on how happy I'm to have Cullen, Shermeen and Chloe by me. Well, not much happened. But let's just say that 19th January 2012 was the worst day I've faced in 2012 by far. Not gonna elaborate because it's pointless and I'm lazy. People disappoint, all the time.

And to people who made an effort to stay in my life, Thank You, I love you all dearly.

Apart from that, project's been overwhelming, I'm overwhelmed. Went Kbox with my girls, and it was good. I miss those times we hung out so frequently. Maybe I should learn to manage my time and friends.

And lastly, NTS: I should stop opening up to people so easily or I'll be backfired. Classic example, yesterday.

Just wanna say, Captain's Ball was great. Really touched at WC and Sylvester's enthusiasm although it was really impromptu. I think we make a great team. And also, I want to say that I'm tired of trying to prevent you from getting hurt. Go ahead and get yourself hurt. I'll just be there when you need me. Goodnight.

Tired, very. 2 hours of sleep to last the entire day is seriously no joke. Nothing much happened today, almost dozing off during FnB tutorial. Things got better gradually. Went to watch the basketball match and short catch up with Agnes and Weedy. Met Shermeen for a little and left school to find Davin.

I miss Davin very much. The boy who's been there whenever I need someone. He treated us (Ag, Weedy and myself) to some snacks and we took a few pictures. I miss our Ragou clique. Am so tired that I'm gonna crash NIGHT!

Skyping with my girls right now. Shermeen and Sherlyn. Shoot Shag Marry, pfft. They gave me Jace Jeremy and Xyrus whuttttt. WE NEED A SLEEPOVER. Real soon, I miss my girls. I'm glad to have met you girls 01/01/12. Till forever, xoxo.

Oh why, hi there. Slept so late last night. Had a gr8 chat with Jace and Sherlyn about that night's dare or dare. Guess it's gonna be with us for a while now. Sunday......

Dreading today because I have hell loads of assignments, tutorials and projects to do. And here I am, wasting my life away. Haven't been updating my diary. Time's been flying too fast. May you please stop for a little?

Note to self: I need to touch food or I'll just be anorexic in time to come.

I'm tired of projects and assignments already. Today was good. I went to church and left for home. Pretty lifeless I have to admit but it was a rather productive day (I think). Daddy came and help me with my marketing project. I feel so lost without help.

Anyway, I'm technically half-done with marketing. I feel so accomplished, putting aside the fact that I'm denying the bulk of other projects' existence. Tomorrow's Sunday? Already? Oh yay, spending my weekend to do projects!

"Kiss me, out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green green grass


Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight
Lead me, out on a moonlit floor"

Write in my diary, pin down my emotions. Tomorrow morning.....

Ass whooping dare or dare session. Jeremy, Jace, Joel, Jae, Chloe, Shermeen, Sherlyn and myself. Great time, great company. Right now, got my project to rush. God bless.

Morning! Slept at 2.40am yesterday. I guess it's an improvement? Aiming to sleep earlier as the days go by. I need to. Just realised the number of undone projects that are gonna be due soon. I honestly feel like murdering myself. Remind me again, why am I such a procrastinator? Urgh.

Am heading to school for TP Open House Day 2!

J: Why I can't see you?
M: I don't know....
J: You didn't on your webcam?
M: OMG I NEED TO CHANGE FIRST
J: What you wearing!
M: You don't wanna know....

ANYWAY! I just realised that I have an individual project due on Monday, 9 Jan. Can somebody please kill me? Or can a marketing student please save me? It's already 2 in the morning. This can't continue. Gonna do some parts of my project before hitting the sack.

To those who are asleep..........

This is so darn true. I am so easily affected by what people say/what's happening that I often lose myself along the way. This isn't supposed to happen. I am supposed to have my own feet on the ground and be down to earth. Not swayed by people and emotions. I need to learn and the hard way it is.

Anyway, on a horrible note. I woke up at 3pm, feeling horrible. And just as I saw a text from my ComSkills teacher telling me that the dateline for our online submission  is 12noon, TODAY, it just made me feel more horrible than ever. Damn, maybe I just need a run.

Don't you get peace by just looking at this? I want to sleep but I can't. Too many things are on my mind. I'm missing people whom I shouldn't be thinking about. I'm feeling horrible. Anyone out there who's feeling the same? I feel weak.

Zero make up. Complexion have been improving recently. I am so lazy for school, really. I mean, 2 hours to school? Won't you be lazy? What's motivating me for school today is the Mithio dinner after school. Damn, I really need to get myself moving, or I'm gonna be late for school. Was already late for the first day, no joking matter - attendance is everything.

On a happier note, I'm wearing a similiar skirt as Shermeen baby. I love this girl so much. Remind me again, how difficult is it to get a friend so true in this era?

Lastly,