It's really hard on my part........

Mmmmmmmm okay so here's a blog post. Ever since SIP start I developed a love-hate relationship with binge eating. It's very bad for health but office jobs really aren't easy, really. Am trying to tune myself on track, been feeling too exhausted for major movements. Truth is, chubs and I don't really talk during SIP because of the difference in our schedule (His's 2.30pm - 12.30am while mine's 8.30am - 6pm) And so the only time we get to talk is when he wakes up and during his dinner time. We can't really meet up as well because my off days are weekends and he definitely can't take weekends off.
Nonetheless, life's alright. Got to draw closer with a few peers because of internship and am glad that my superiors are pretty nice people. That's that & have a nice daynight!

Just a few years back (when shit happened) I kept resenting God. Constantly asked myself why do I keep ending myself in the same situations leading me to feel so unsure and skeptical of everything. I felt like a messed up creature, one that needed help out of exasperation. I hated everything that stepped on my tail, and anything that came in my way. I became so self-centred I started to think of me and me only so that nobody could enter the doors of my heart and unexpectedly leave. It was my only form of protection. I could say I was pretty much a lost soul, I don't feel I belonged anywhere, or was good enough for anybody, I didn't feel smart, pretty or slim. I just didn't want to do anything with my life anymore.

Just words, no pictures.

Today I found another girl who hurts herself. In a world of unmet expectations it hurts to actually know that people hurt themselves to temporarily numb the pain they feel inside. We're all humans, aren't we? We do things rashly, we're quick to anger and sometimes say things we wished we never did. But when it comes to having a choice to hurt individuals, people still do it.

First, there's love. It's inevitable for people not to get hurt in a relationship (unless you're the lucky one in  a million who met the guy you'd be spending your life with). But what's controllable is the means of ending it and ways to handle the other party, isn't it. Admittedly I'm not a professional love guru but why do beings love making things so utterly screwed up when it's completely uncalled for. I don't understand.

And then there're bad friends. Those who'd talk about you behind you. I believe that as much as people abhor getting honestly opinionated in the face, what's it that gets on people's nerves more would be getting talked behind their backs. What's worse is when it travels around and the person gets to know about it...... I don't know man. I mean I can't understand why the one thing that's so difficult for humans to be is truthful.

Lastly of course, there's family. And being sandwiched in such circumstances doesn't permit you to have a say in anything because you were born and are bounded by an invisible cord to these people. But what you can do is to learn from it, not hurt yourself. Find good (true and proper) friends whom you can confide in, and stick to these few - they'll last you a lifetime.

Up till now I am fully unable to comprehend how can a person have a concept of substituting emotional sorrows with physical pain. Never did, never will. But if you're struggling and reading this, I want you to know that you're strong and abled enough to get by. You've lived till now, it wasn't easy and it's never gonna be. Continue loving, continue growing. You'll soon see the light at the end of this dark and lonesome tunnel you're passing by. And don't ever, for a second thinks that nobody cares. Because people do, you just haven't seen it yourself yet.

Really missing Korea with all these people!!!!!! :-(

 Lovely day indeed 

I know I'm late but, I just caught "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" it is indeed a pretty deep movie - it touches on emotions not literally shown in the context of the movie. Logan Lerman pulls of as a shy boy pretty well. And shy boy reminds me my chubs. What really struck me was this phrase
And I realised that people shouldn't settle for anything less than they deserve. This movie triggered a lot of thoughts at the back of my head. That's probably about it.

"I wanna tell you something"
"Is it bad or good"
"You can't just ask me you're ruining the atmosphere"
"Okay tell me"
"I just wanna say I miss you and love you and that you're the last thing on my mind before I go to bed, goodnight"

Thank you for another wonderfully magical day. I love how we oft go to the beach to take a good relaxing night walk there or just smell the sea breeze. I love how you always assure me in a way it doesn't seem to much, neither too little. There're so many things I love about you, and you me. Thank you for being there all the time. X