I never expected myself to be one of those insecure girls I've always seen or known. Being together with Shao really made me realise how vulnerable and affected I can be despite constantly masking confidence. It's getting better now but sometimes it's really sudden and I'm just falling into a bottomless pit and drowning in self-pity. I hate it, I hate self-pity.

But Shao is lovely and patient enough to love me, still. He knows every little detail about me and still, he loves me. Always making the conscientious effort to make me the happiest I can be, he does silly things and sometimes they are really cute and quirky. I love how he addresses my insecurities: He doesn't put them down, neither does he shrug them away but rather he tells me my strengths and gives me loads of cuddly hugs and forehead kisses. Now it keeps me thinking: What have I ever done to deserve someone so lovely? <probably nothing>

Apart from having the best boyfriend in the world, school's been quite fine. Late nights paid off as 2 of my group projects were chosen by tutors, I guess we're strutting towards an A? It's my last semester, and I'm at a crossroad. Where do I go from here? Should I work for 2 years for some experience and then study or the other way round?

So many things to look forward to, half anticipating half terrified. I never knew I had this side of me, but for the first time I'm really afraid of change. I don't ever want to lose Shao.